Last week was tough. Each night, I woke up from nightmares. They were so real it was horrible. I remember some bits and pieces of them, but not much.
I woke up in the middle of each night experiencing pain and fear. My throat felt tight. My chest felt heavy. My arms, legs, hands, and feet hurt. Everything hurt.
I spoke with my counselor about this on Friday morning’s session. We both agreed that the bad dreams may have been from the medication increase, the stressful week that was full of triggers, or a combination of both. At work on Friday, I struggled through the lunch shift with racing thoughts and was unable to concentrate well. Trying to do the math that I normally do every shift was almost impossible. I kept forgetting things that I normally do not have a problem remembering. Keeping myself together was exhausting. At the end of my shift, I talked with two of the managers about what was going on. I explained everything and told them I was willing to work the supper shift but that I did not think it was going to go well. They were great. They told me to go home and rest and when the closing manager came in they would figure out what to do.
I went home and laid down for a nap. I had only been asleep maybe forty-five minutes when I woke up from another bad dream. I was so tired but was afraid to try to sleep anymore. The closing manager called and asked what was going on. I explained everything. She gave me the night off and told me to try to rest and to keep her updated so we could decide if I was going to work my shift on Sunday. She was very understanding and told me not to worry about losing my job or getting into any trouble.
Friday night I did not want to leave the house. Hubby coaxed me out to grab something to eat, but I stayed in the truck. We watched two movies, which almost never happens because I have such a hard time sitting still. I spent the weekend resting and enjoying the safety of home and spending time with my husband.
I am happy to report that the nightmares have not returned. I have been able to feel back to myself the last couple of days. I am still a little tired, but I think that will go away as I have more nights of uninterrupted sleep. For now, hubby and I are coming up with a plan to make sure that I do not have to deal with so many triggers, especially all at once. I have no desire to ever go through another week like last week. I am thankful that I have such a supportive husband.
And sleep. I am also very thankful for peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.